Pursuit of Perfection

Pursuit of Perfection

I am a veteran..

An extreme example
of a pursuit of perfection

comes to mind..remembering my duty

on a missile crew..in those frightful

days of the Cuban Missile Crisis..

A nuclear weapon was a new thing

populations were at risk

a dark existential threat loomed..

Error-free 
performance was expected

from those awaiting a
launch execution order..

Perfection was sought in

communication authentication

by endless testing

by psychological reliability

and by sidearms at the ready

for a suicidal bent by

a crew member suddenly 

deciding to begin a war..

My military career began in
Durango..where I sought 
perfection in my grades..and was 
appointed to the military academy..
This is an institution dedicated  to
the pursuit of perfection in
a most unrelenting manner..
Demerits were the measure
and ever-present reminder
which informed 
of the distance one's life
stood away from perfection..

I had two roommates: 
Walter and Tom
Walter the perfectionist
descended from a line of
high ranking soldiers..
Walter's military appearance
and his dedication were for 
all to behold..while Tom
seemed displaced as a
California surfer..
My report today is that
Walter rests in Arlington
and Tom yet lives..surfing
near his shoreside home
on the island of Oahu..

The military purpose
in the end..seems a recognition
that the fragmented self
(which we all experience in
our conventional lives)
must strive for the perfection
which seems
not present in what appears..
Thus a need
to build barriers from others
whose similar fragmentation 
projects outwardly 
in harmful ways..

Yet..
what is important to discover

is that futility resides

at the end of all

paths toward perfection..

Perfection 
of the fragmented self

is denied by the pursuit itself..

 And can only be realized

by ending the pursuit 

and recognizing the
Perfection

we already are and 
have always been..

(Perfection is sought 
in accomplishment
for recognition and praise
 for a new self-identity
leaving behind that which
cried out in pain..
It is a promise of a new you:
stepping on a ladder
and climbing out of a
unsatisfying whirlpool
 of fear and desire...)